Same-Sex weddings in Washington, DC: Part II of II

Another consideration for obtaining a wedding license in the District of Columbia is that the license, once purchased, is considered “indefinite.” If you would like to confirm for yourself, call the District of Columbia (DC) Marriage Office at (202) 879-4850. (See next blog entry for more details)

In so many states a license is only valid for a set period. In Virginia the license is valid for 60 days from date of purchase. Therefore most couples (regretfully just heterosexual couples) set their wedding date and then purchase their license a few weeks before the actual ceremony. If the wedding is later than the 60 day window, then you must purchase another license.

“Indefinite” certainly is a wide window, and hopefully once known, will allow same-sex couples coming to DC to slow down and plan a schedule. I will comment more on this, but first please read the next paragraph and scroll down for the last blog entry.

The March 12th blog entry (immediately below this) is a must read for same-sex couples to navigate for the application and then the actual pickup of the license. So – please read it for solid guidance and access the links to those websites provided, especially the DC Court Marriage Bureau website.

Many couples from a great distance from DC are planning for a full week in DC or lodging across the river in Virginia or even Maryland. This allows them to visit the DC Marriage Office, complete the application, wait the three(3) days for pickup of the license, and have a ceremony after picking up the license. In other words, perhaps they fly into DC on a weekend, apply for the license on a Monday, pick up the license on Thursday, and plan a wedding ceremony somewhere in the Capitol limits on that Thursday afternoon or Friday or whenever, after picking up the license. “Whenever” is the point of this blog entry.

If staying in DC for a week is not possible to complete the process, then slow it down and consider this possibility:  When in DC make the application and place the name of the minister on the license if you know you want to be married outside of the courthouse. When convenient and you can return to the DC Marriage Bureau to pick up the license ( after a 3-day gap for them to process the application), then set a date a few weeks or months ahead.

I am told that someone must present the receipt of the application when returning to pick up the actual license; however, it might serve many couples to have a close friend in the area present the receipt for you, retrieve the license and mail it to you, thus saving a trip back to DC until it’s time for a planned ceremony in DC. Always confirm with the DC Marriage Bureau in case of any changes by calling (202) 879-4850.

Regarding places to have a wedding in DC

If you have a friend who works in DC, perhaps for the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), then get personal advice. Perhaps staying outside the city is much more reasonable. One can rent a car for a week and drive over to Alexandria or near Mount Vernon and stay much more reasonably in a motel or hotel than in a DC hotel. Just an idea.

If staying in DC lodging (hotel or B&B), then check with their Events Coordinator for use of a conference room or patio for having a small wedding. This should be available without cost if a guest, but if having refreshments, decorations, etc., that will certainly be extra. Check it out. Always consider reserving two(2) hours for flexibility. Most weddings are 30 minutes, but time is needed on both sides of the actual ceremony.

We received a lovely note from Sandra Gartrell from the Intown Uptown Inn at 4907 14th Street NW, Washington, DC 20011, inviting same-sex couples to contact her for small weddings, even elopements, in the Inn. It is always nice to receive such invitations, therefore I am passing it along for your consideration.

I asked about a general idea for a very small ceremony, and Sandy said, “ For five(5) people (not including the officiants) we charge $115 for up to an hour and $10/per  person for six(6) people and up to 25 people. Of course we have rooms to offer, catering, champagne, cake, fresh flowers, and other add-ons that we can work with the couple in providing. Also free parking.”  Her direct e-mail is sandy@iuinn.com.

For a much larger event in a large welcoming church in DC

Most same-sex couples will not know that this past summer’s Clergy Call, sponsored by HRC, was hosted in Calvary Baptist Church, 755 Eighth Street, NW, Washington, DC 20001.  Clergy from all over the country arrived for the 3-day event, and planned and visited congressional offices in support of the Hate Crimes Bill, and other important LGBT issues. Some of us started projecting the need for support of repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.  This large, totally inclusive Baptist Church and its Senior Pastor, Rev. Amy Butler, were gracious hosts and made the activities such a success.

We talked to the church about the use of the chapel which seats up to 150 guests for same-sex ceremonies. The Pastor and Church Administrator are very supportive, and if there is an interest in reserving the chapel, and having me perform the ceremony while you are in DC, then this is possible.

You will need to discuss use of the chapel directly with Paul Rosstead at (202) 347-8355 Ext 127, or e-mail him at PRrosstead@calvarydc.org.

Typically, the arrangement for the chapel is for 3 hours for ceremony reservation, and 1 hour for rehearsal the day before. The facility fee is $750. The fee for the sanctuary which seats up to 800 is $2,000.  There are some rules for use, but understandable, and the discussion can allow you to know of music assistance, which would be extra.

We are not wedding planners; we are ministers who perform weddings in DC and commitments and weddings elsewhere working out of our location near Charlottesville, Virginia. We are very dependent on allowing some of the ministerial fee to be a tax deductible donation to our non-religious, nonprofit, public charity with no paid staff to serve the interests of patients and families without adequate means for lodging, food, co-pay and travel who come to the University of Virginia Medical Center in Charlottesville. If you wish to see where a part of your fee would be going, please read our website and blog for the charity at http://www.interfaithhumanitariansanctum.org/.  I hope this information is of assistance for planning a trip to DC.

Blessings…Rev. Elisheva