You Say Your Commitment is Forever?

Then why the procrastination?  Get married! Early last year I received a wedding inquiry from a couple in Virginia who were vague in their request for performing a Virginia wedding.  The inquiry had come directly to me, not through the "contact me info" which is accessed on the home page of my LGBT website. It turned out that the couple was seeking a minister to preform a "commitment" in front of a large audience in an exceptionally lovely setting: however, they were tip-toeing around the fact that they were a same-sex female couple. Had they reached my LGBT website first, they would have known immediately how receptive I am in seeking to accommodate same-sex weddings. In fact when a minister is an ordained Interfaith Minister, rest assured of that person's openness to a complete discussion regarding same-sex and opposite-sex weddings. Not knowing anything about the couple ... I assumed a need to relate details for consideration The inquiry was begun by e-mail, and I responded by e-mail. I explained that beginning in March 2010, when Washington, D.C. became the closest location for a legal same-sex wedding that I had decided not to perform any more commitments, except under special circumstances. I further explained that too much blood, sweat and tears had been devoted to bringing legality into play, and with the opportunity so close in the District of Columbia, we had decided to work with couples to perform their legal wedding in DC, and then with pleasure create a ceremony called a commitment to share with family in Virginia at the location and date chosen. I was surprised by the response The couple indicated that they were not really interested in a "legal" wedding at that time, and would wait until Virginia allowed a same-sex opportunity. I was surprised, especially now that a same-sex couple is afforded so many federal opportunities, not the least being accepted in the tax code when legally married. I also expressed my very real concern regarding how fickle the political winds can change in this country, and Virginia has a way of seeking to cause extreme blow-back and delay. My final thoughts were the following:  If this commitment is real and love exists, make the relationship legal. Jump through a few more hoops and obtain a license either in DC or Maryland. Protect yourselves to the extent possible and begin securing your future for each other now. I added several other thoughts, but I did stress the following I said that I still had a sense that conservative backlash can be potent, causing delays with all kinds of obstacles,  but the one thing which they will find that cannot be overcome is  the reality that within a few years there will be a million strong same-sex legally married couples. I invited their consideration to become a part of that strength and be openly proud. I concluded with the idea that a same-sex couple may even have to consider moving to a gay-friendly state in order to gain further protections, especially if they decide to raise children. "Sometimes you can never go home again; sometimes you may not want to go back, except for visits.  Sometimes home is found by moving forward, knowing that your journey now has an absolute support system to share the adventure." Blessings ... Reverend Elisheva