Thursday, February 11, 2010

Don’t Ask..Don’t Tell…Still as un-American as ever!

Dear LGBT Couples,

During the last several months we have received requests for commitments wherein one partner was active military. In two cases, that partner was being deployed or already in a war zone.  The requests were to have openly gay commitments with friends and family at a time when the policy of this country remains contradictory to America’s portrayal as a nation of equality for its citizens; in fact dictated by what should be totally separated from consideration, religious determination to continue to subvert a fundamental right of all citizens to serve and protect their country.

It grieves me to have to say it, but I strongly recommend that gay Americans in the military wait a bit longer to engage in an open commitment ceremony until “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” is repealed. Please note that I am not asking for anyone to wait until this country is mature enough to accept all fully qualified professionals equal acceptance in uniform.  I am saying don’t increase the risk factor while an awakened and open leadership is paving a path. There is now no doubt that President Obama, Secretary Gates and Admiral Mullen are engaged.

What is not abundantly clear to so many gay members of the military is that this open exposure allows all friends and family knowledge of your commitment, and this is a risky proposition. Not all friends may remain secretive, and not all family members pleased with your decision. Sometimes their religious zeal and background may lead to a determination to diminish your happiness, and your career.

 Your service is valued and needed, and as strong as the urge is to come out and simply be who you are, and allow others to know of the devotion to your partner, this open exposure through a ceremony should be delayed.  Especially is this true if you wish to remain in service of your country and continue to serve, and be served with the benefits of a service person. Please know that you are not living a lie…your country is.  Engage in all manner of ways to support the change, but work the magic while in uniform until the Constitution begins to work for you.

A commitment is about a life long partnership of love and devotion, and most certainly sexual intimacy, as a human being. We look forward to performing many more commitments and weddings which involve military members, but please wait until U.S. military integrity is established policy. That time is coming.

T. Wade Clegg III, Interfaith Minister
Major, USAFR Retired