2nd Annual Charlotttesville Pride Festival

Saturday, September 14, 2013   11-7 p.m.   Lee Park   Visit  CvillePride.org for complete contact info Good Works and Cville Pride go Hand in Hand Reverend Elisheva Clegg, ordained Interfaith Minister and Pastoral Counselor, MA, and a frequent traveler to Washington DC to perform same-sex marriages for LGBT couples, will once again be sharing a tent with Interfaith Humanitarian Sanctum (IHS), the ALL volunteer, non-profit, no stock, non-religious, 501(c)3  public charity which she was instrumental in founding in 2008. Let's be clear: NO ONE IS PAID at the charity. Interfaith Humanitarian Sanctum has a Gold Seal rating on Guidestar as meeting the highest standards for transparency. The charity is also a member of the Center for Nonprofit Excellence (CNE) in Charlottesville.   A Same-Sex couple can never say there was no one to talk to in Charlottesville! Rev. Elisheva has been a consistent advocate for human rights, and especially equality issues for the LGBT community. She and her husband have been supportive members of the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) for many years. She also offers counseling sessions ( what she calls "tabletop discussions with coffee and pastries") in Charlottesville for couples considering a legal marriage in DC, from which all counseling fees can go directly to the IHS charity. Rev. Elisheva's objectives are clearly about communion, not conversion When asked about any confusion with being under the same tent with the non-religious charity which was solely originated as another safety net for the indigent patients and caregivers who travel for hundreds of  miles to be served at the UVA Medical Center, the former overnight UVA volunteer chaplain said, "All of my ministerial fees, especially for weddings, allow for a sizable portion to be donated by couples to the IHS charity. My married couples and their families continue to assist in funding this worthy effort over the years. One needs eternal friends to assist in such a critically needed charity." A Final Point of Clarification regarding Rev. Elisheva and the public charity   In a recent fund-raising event, a man questioned Rev. Elisheva about the name of the public charity being called "Interfaith,"  which lead him to believe it was a religious organization. She responded  that it was indeed her background as a child born in war-torn Germany and her interfaith ministry which stimulated a desire to promote good works where most needed  She also said that perhaps it would have been more appropriate to have named it "Any Faith and None" or just 'Humanitarian Sanctum' or some such designation; but, ' Interfaith'  is a philosophy of total inclusion, which is dedicated to building bridges ... and it just felt right!"  She also emphasized that IHS is being supported by a real diversity of churches (Unitarian Universalists, Catholic, Baptist, Lutheran, Jewish, Mormon, etc.), all recognizing that the sole objective of  IHS is to serve the physical needs of  the least able among us.                   So - now you know!  Come celebrate inclusion with us...  September 14th!

Treated Equally by Their Government - Not in Virginia!

"It would be nice if, for once, the Old Dominion didn't have to be dragged into the future kicking and screaming." That line above caught our attention in an e-mail from Equality Virginia. Then it lead us to the full article below. We asked Barton Hinkle, writer for the Richmond Times Dispatch, for permission to introduce it to our blog readers. He said yes.   We performed one of the first same-sex marriages just days after approval in Washington, D.C. And we will continue to drive up to the nation's Capitol, presently the closest zone of equality for same-sex marriage. However, it will be such a pleasure when the opportunity comes to Virginia , and those bumper stickers can reflect for everyone that "Virginia is for Lovers."                                                                                                                                     Blessings ... Revs. Elisheva and T. Wade Clegg III Hinkle: Repeal the marriage amendment A. Barton Hinkle bhinkle@timesdispatch.com  Sunday, June 30, 2013 12:00 am Last week's twin Supreme Court rulings on gay marriage have left final disposition of the question to the states. So now would be a good time for Virginia and the 30 others with constitutional amendments banning same-sex unions to start repealing them. Even the most strident social conservatives generally do not dispute the principle animating the drive for same-sex marriage: the "fundamental right of all people," as the Cato Institute put it during litigation over DOMA and California's Proposition 8, "to be treated equally by their government." Governments must not discriminate "based solely on differences that are irrelevant to legitimate governmental objectives." But there is no compelling governmental reason to deny gay couples equal marriage rights or the benefits that attend them. Government's elemental duty consists of protecting individual rights from aggression. Same-sex marriages imperil nobody's rights. They harm no one. Hence opponents have conjured up other rationales. We are told, for instance, that marriage equality somehow threatens "the institution of marriage." This is akin to arguing that letting gay couples open bank accounts threatens the institution of banking. It not only does not follow, it is counterintuitive. Voluminous evidence suggests other social forces have eroded traditional marriage while gay marriage has left it unscathed. Marriage's worst declines occurred in the 1960s and 1970s - long before gay marriage arrived on the scene. And where gay marriage has been legalized, other marriages have not suffered. Massachusetts approved gay marriage a decade ago. Marriage rates there shot up shortly afterward as gay couples wed, and have remained steady since. What's more, in states that have legalized gay marriage, divorce rates have been lower, on average, than before legalization. They also have been lower than the national average. Nationwide, marriage rates are higher among those who tend to support gay marriage - well-to-do college graduates - than among cohorts that support gay marriage less. This shouldn't come as a big surprise. Time and again, social conservatives confronted with imminent progress have predicted dire consequences that never came to pass. Women's suffrage was condemned as an "exceedingly dangerous" experiment that would destroy chivalry, defy God's will, violate biological law, and require "a radical change in human nature of which the world has never given the faintest sign." Women gained the vote - and yet somehow, Western civilization abides. Opponents of integrating the armed forces similarly denounced the notion as an "experiment" that would "cripple our national defense" and "result in ultimate defeat." It didn't. Foes of integrating the schools warned that doing so would ruin "the amicable relations between the white and Negro races," bring "unending violence and strife," and destroy public education. It didn't. Critics of repealing "don't ask, don't tell" warned that letting homosexuals serve openly in the military would threaten "unit cohesion," "break the all-volunteer force," etc. It didn't. Perhaps because of this record, the dwindling cadre that opposes gay marriage is falling back on less empirical arguments: Marriage is for procreation; polygamy's a-comin'; the Bible condemns homosexuality. (True. It also decrees, in Deuteronomy 22:13-21, that a bride who is not a virgin "shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death." Maybe we should look elsewhere for legislative guidance.) As the case against gay marriage has grown weaker, public support for it has grown stronger. Seven years ago, 57 percent of voters approved Virginia's ban on same-sex marriage. Today, 56 percent of Virginians think gay marriage should be legal. That is bad news for Ken Cuccinelli, the Republican candidate for governor, who remains staunchly opposed to gay marriage in particular and to homosexuality in general, which he considers "intrinsically wrong." It might be better news for Cuccinelli's Democratic opponent, Terry McAuliffe - if McAuliffe had any discernible principles, or courage to match them. McAuliffe gave tepid, pro-forma applause to last week's Supreme Court decisions but refuses to say whether Virginia should repeal its gay marriage ban. That leaves only Robert Sarvis, the Libertarian candidate, who notes Virginia's sordid history in matters marital: Not until 1967, in the case of Richard and Mildred Loving, was Virginia's ban on interracial marriage overturned. "If it weren't for the courage of the Lovings," Sarvis says, "I might not have been able to marry the woman I love. But today, Virginia still isn't for all lovers. That's why I want to honor the Loving legacy and lead the fight now, in this election, to recognize same-sex marriage in Virginia." The clear trajectory of the issue indicates that same-sex marriage eventually will come to pass, in Virginia and the rest of the country, just as women's suffrage, school desegregation, interracial marriage and all the rest did. It would be nice if, for once, the Old Dominion didn't have to be dragged into the future kicking and screaming. bhinkle@timesdispatch.com

It's Worth Reading Again!

It's Worth Reading Again! I asked the ACLU if I could reprint their article received June 26, 2013.  It is below, just in case you did not see it, and need to retain access to their site.  It is important to retain accurate information and read actual cases, and one important source in this fight for equality is the ACLU.   http://www.acluva.org  Stay involved ... the fight is not over We do not assume that everyone knows that the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) and the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) are leaders in this on-going movement. We urge you and yours to stay actively involved. Rev. T. Wade and I have been active supporters and  visited Congress with HRC supporters when seeking to repeal Don 't Ask Don't Tell (DADT), among other critical topics. Since that ridiculous law was ended, so much work has been accomplished to bring us to to the high Court's decisions of June 26. Stay Vigilant! Be ALL that you can be, but BE who you are! Much love ... Reverend Elisheva Major U.S. Supreme Court Victories for Marriage Equality! Today, the ACLU of Virginia, along with thousands of allies and LGBT community members around the United States, celebrates a monumental victory in the fight for the freedom to marry.  In a 5-4 ruling, the U.S. Supreme Court made a historical decision to strike down the Defense of Marriage Act as unconstitutional, recognizing that there is no valid reason for the federal government to treat legally married LGBT couples any differently because of their sexual orientation. The Court ruling came in Windsor v. U.S., an ACLU lawsuit filed on behalf of Edie Windsor, a widowed lesbian who, after the death of her spouse Thea Spyer, was required to pay over $360,000 in federal estate taxes -- taxes she would not have owed if she were married to a man. In the second LGBT rights case decided today, the Court ruled that proponents of Prop 8, a California referendum that overturned the freedom to marry in that state, did not have legal standing to challenge a federal court decision that Prop 8 was invalid and unconstitutional. The Supreme Court decision has the effect of restoring the freedom to marry for Californians.  The result is that one-third of Americans now live in jurisdictions in which the freedom to marry is equally available to LGBT and straight couples. What does this all mean for Virginia?  First, the federal government will now treat all Virginians legally married in other states the same regardless of sexual orientation.  That means the 1,100 federal benefits tied to marriage will become available to legally married Virginians regardless of the fact that Virginia doesn't recognize their marriages.  As an example, the Secretary of Defense issued this statement today concerning actions the Defense Department will take that will affect members of the military and their spouses stationed here: "The Department of Defense welcomes the Supreme Court's decision today on the Defense of Marriage Act. The department will immediately begin the process of implementing the Supreme Court's decision in consultation with the Department of Justice and other executive branch agencies. The Department of Defense intends to make the same benefits available to all military spouses -- regardless of sexual orientation -- as soon as possible. That is now the law and it is the right thing to do." Second, while we celebrate the freedom to marry now accorded our friends in California and the 12 other jurisdictions that recognize same-sex marriage, the discrimination written into Virginia's constitution in 2006 (which prohibits any governmental recognition of any relationships other than marriage between a man and a woman) remains unaffected by today's decisions.   That is why the ACLU of Virginia is recommitting itself to ensuring that the freedom to marry can be enjoyed equally by all Virginians.  While we moved closer to that goal today, in Virginia it remains a goal to be achieved rather than a reality to be celebrated. We look forward to working with you in this important effort.

Let's Talk Weather!

More specifically ...  Let's address the landscape for having a marvelous escape As wedding ministers who travel frequently,  the opportunities to experience every month of the year allows us a multitude of experiences.  It also allows for making suggestions to couples, which may mean some extra planning.  No - I am not talking about changing dates, since booking of a venue most likely has already been secured by deposit for a favored location. I am speaking of making plans to secure the best possible outcome for the ceremony. Large or small weddings require the same attention to attendees There is considerable flexibility for small weddings, but no less attention is required for even a few special guests.  They all come to enjoy, listen intently and remember your special day. It does not have to be a perfect setting or perfect weather; it does require adaptability for comfort.  If indeed there is a need to quickly move inside, has that move been reviewed and planned with adequate staff to take chairs, decorations, and equipment inside?  How long will such a change take?  Is there a planned cut-off time for making the move, and no procrastination?  If a small venue or home wedding, let friends know that they may be recruited for extra duties as the situation dictates. There are better months for planning for outdoor weddings ... so pre-planning is best When scouting venues, talk to location managers or locals, and listen carefully.  As said, we always look at the location on an inquiry form, plus the date, time of day, and size of audience. These factors are all important in early planning, especially for an outdoor ceremony. The very first response to most couples, especially when hosting a large to medium size audience is to make sure that an alternative plan is absolutely in place for moving inside quickly and efficiently.  Yes - it's wonderful to be out in a park or on a beach, until a storm arrives and everyone is forced to either run or sit in total discomfort for a twenty minute ceremony. This can be an adventure for many young people, but rest assured that elderly people with health concerns will not be so enchanted by nature's unexpected turn.  Check the forecast beginning days in advance, and discuss deadlines for movement inside There are months which can be bone-chillingly cold.  And there are months when the heat will melt the candles.  Both conditions affect the comfort of guests, and that can be very disappointing. Friends and family have generally traveled for a day of comfortable surroundings. Thirty minutes outside with a wind chill of thirty-five degrees and no covering can make for a very long ceremony. The same is true when the temperature is one hundred degrees at 3 PM on the lawn of a golf club.  The formal wear begins to be most burdensome. Unexpected cool weather is generally the most disruptive... although heat can be dangerous Cold and wet attire, wind chill, and sitting still and listening for 20-30 minutes is not enjoyable. Do not expect the best voice from a minister or reader, and especially for singers and musicians when the conditions are so challenging.  Sunrise weddings may work for an elopement for ten minutes, but quite frankly even ministers tend to pass on some challenges. When a  minister speaks of situations from hundreds of ceremonies ... LISTEN! As much as a couple can be determined to make it work, the first concern must be the guests and female members of a wedding party with naked shoulders shivering in the wind.  May -September are the most popular months, but when it's hot, heat stroke can occur. Standing members can become faint.  Most ceremonies can be situated outside at the time of day when shade will fall on the audience, or a tent may be erected to provide some cover. However, the heat may not be diminished very much, and guests should be provided water abundantly.  When direct sun is a concern, then guests should be allowed to stay in the shade until the last minute and then told to take their places in an open seating arrangement. They must NEVER be allowed to sit and boil while the wedding party is running late for entry. A possibility often neglected Venues in the cooler months should not be overlooked. Take the group inside a cozy hotel or B&B for a wonderful environment.  Most venues will be less apt to be filled, and may even offer special price considerations.  Most ministers are delighted to receive inquiries during the winter months.  Of course there may be a need for caution for those months when snows can arrive, such as January-March.  This can diminish travel by air and auto, but generally not for more than a day. Also, many friends and family may actually be more readily available for attendance and able to leave working obligations in the early part of the year.  Just sharing. Remember - whenever and wherever the ceremony takes place,  it will be the most important ceremony in your lives.  However, there is wisdom in close scrutiny and early planning.  Also - the couple who plans together will enjoy the process so much more.  Planning a wedding is a part of marriage. Much love ... Reverend Elisheva

Charlottesville's First-Ever Pride Festival

The Pride Festival will be held September 15th (next Saturday) from 2-6 pm at Lee Park in downtown Charlottesville. Lee Park is next to the Downtown Mall and the Central Library. Lee Park is on East Market Street. Parking on street and Market Street Garage. Notes from Amy Sarah Marshall, C'ville Pride President We're super-excited by the overwhelming response we've received from the community. I had originally wanted to have an event like this to draw people out of the woodwork - or closet - where many people in this area stay.  I'm delighted that my dream is actually coming true. So many folks have told me that they just keep to themselves and don't get involved in anything having to do with the LGBT community, but they are thrilled to have this opportunity to connect with others. Over 630 people on Facebook alone have said they are attending the festival. Area businesses will sponsor & attend as vendors I guess you just don't know until the question is asked whether a business or organization supports equality and LGBT rights or not. I think many of us - including myself - just don't ask the question. We "pass" as straight, stay under the radar, constantly questioning or wondering if we'd be accepted or rejected by others based on our sexual orientation. It's a pretty safe way to exist, but it's also a weighty burden to carry. Lisa, Amy Sarah, Buck & Julie Festival will provide fun lots of fun We will have poetry, drag performances, music, performance art in the main tent. Dave Norris, former Charlottesville mayor, will host. We'll also be joined by the lady arm wrestlers, the Derby Dames, face painters, jewelry crafters, nail and hair salon professionals, food vendors, and more. The kids' area will feature a bouncy castle and crafts and bubbles. The spiritual community will be represented by churches and Buddhist organizations. Non-profits representing healthcare, politics, and community activism will offer information on available resources. A special wedding vendor table will list LGBT-friendly services. But most of all ... The LGBTQ community will get the chance to find each other and get support for being themselves from straight allies and supporters. We as a whole community will get a chance to celebrate and stand up for equality for all of us.                                                                                                    Love ... Amy Sarah Marshall Comment from Reverend Elisheva Clegg, ordained Interfaith Minister This is a wonderful opportunity for everyone who receives this e-mail newsletter and lives in Virginia, Maryland and DC area to drive down to Charlottesville for a terrific day of sharing. We will have a table at the Festival with handouts to let the LGBT community know how we promote and support marriage in Washington, D.C. as the closest zone of equality for same-sex marriages. The Festival is perfectly located next to the Historic Mall with restaurants and shops for an extended evening of enjoyment after the events in Lee Park. Why not spend the weekend? For more information go to  www.cvillepride.org              Blessings ... Reverend Elisheva

I'll Write ... You Read ... then it's meeting time

Some important thoughts for a Couple to place on their "To Do" List And with any luck the time will come when we can sit across a table, sipping coffee and savoring a bit of cheesecake. And we will exchange that most precious commodity: intimate conversation filled with high expectations, new friends discussing plans for their wedding. Talk of hopes and dreams and the excitement of the journey can turn an hour into two. Many couples simply need to get that sense of comfort with a minister. It's important to hear of concerns, especially to know if their selection of a minister is someone who can bring their ceremony to family and friends in a manner which reflects their wishes. It's important to learn of sensitivities within and between families. It's important to learn of rituals preferred, especially when it is an interfaith wedding. A personal meeting is that opportunity to become comfortable with the person who is performing the most important ceremony in the life of a couple. Captain Kirk reminded us of an important gift We were watching a documentary this past evening entitled "Captains." William Shatner, the actor of note from many roles, but especially Star Trek, allowed us to listen to an entertaining couple of hours sharing conversations with all of the Star Trek Captains over the years, and some of the notable cast members so many of us remember. Then at the very end, as the credits were scrolling by, the final thank you came up and stopped. Shatner wrote several comments, and then offered: "These friends allowed me such a marvelous gift ... their time." That is exactly what we hope to enjoy with each couple: their time ... as time is allowed. So many couples ask, "Can we meet?" Of course we can meet, and that should be a part of your planning. However, I live near Charlottesville, Virginia and a meeting generally entails a full day, at least for those who live in Virginia, Maryland and the DC area. Many couples who plan ahead will take a weekend day and drive to Charlottesville, often staying for one night, enjoying the delights of this historic town, and meeting with us for a discussion. If a couple needs directions or ideas for a hotel accessible for visiting Monticello, Carter Mountain, University of Virginia, etc, please ask. Not all couples can make that trip to Charlottesville Keep in mind that only about half of all couples actually are close enough for meeting with ease. Many couples have waited too late for planning a meeting. Many live in other states, and will fly into their ceremony location just before the ceremony. As much as we would like to have that face to face talk months in advance, and become familiar before a ceremony, sometimes it is just not possible. Then, a bit more time is spent with e-mail exchanges, and the importance of my questionnaire to learn of hopes and dreams and other matters of the heart become so very prominent in order to write for text and tone. Sometimes in the course of exchanges, a phone call might allow for a more open dialogue to settle a matter quickly. What happens when family members wish to attend that first meeting? There have been many meetings over the years when a mother, or both mothers have arrived with the couple. There have been occasions when a couple brought their separate children with them. The list of combinations can be interesting. The question is usually asked: Is it OK for them to come with us? And the answer is: Certainly! However, at some point after general introductions, I will ask the couple to join me for a private conversation at a separate table, and Rev. T. Wade will occupy the rest of the family with the most interesting conversation one can imagine. He can speak football fluently. There must be private time with the couple. I have noticed on occasion when mothers are in attendance, there is a tendency on their part to want to know exactly how I will be handling the ceremony. It is at that point, but usually before it is asked, that I offer something like, "Please understand that I do not write a wedding until I have received completed questionnaires from a couple. I then draft the ceremony for their review and their review only. The wedding is therefore always approved by a couple in advance based on their request. I do insist that no one, except the couple, is to hear the script before it is delivered in a wedding. I do this rather deliberately, since a personal wedding must be that of a couple, and exposing it to friends and family lead to exchanges which may put pressure on a couple to make changes. That must never happen, since the ceremony becomes the wishes of others. And I am here to fulfill the wishes of the couple."   Perhaps this might be considered a gentle reminder that YOUR WEDDING IS YOUR DREAM DAY. Just sharing.

Sharing Thoughts with the LGBT Community ... But Not That Often!

A Personal note to the LGBT community from Revs. T. Wade and Elisheva Clegg   We cannot be accused of overwhelming recipients with blog postings accessed from our website at http://www.blueridgerainbowceremonies.org .  The articles are initially sent to readers on our e-mail list, and immediately placed on the blog site. Therefore, the e-mail is more than just an announcement of the blog posting; it's an immediate read of the item and has a "forward e-mail." The hope is that these less than intrusive mailings will be well received, versus daily bombardment by political parties, and that you will send on to other friends. Speaking of less than intrusive The last previous three e-mails and blog entries were April 21, 2012 (before this e-mail), January 14, 2012, and October 24, 2011. That's about one e-mail every 2-3 months. The topics are easily reviewed as to diversity by clicking the blog site and scrolling back.   The October 2011 article emphasized an important link for LGBT Military Members. Like all articles in the LGBT blog, there is always something to share from each article with friends. The heterosexual community can be casual about their status as Americans, but not the LGBT community. Take a moment and learn. The January 2012 posting remained the only entry for three months. Blenheim Farm and Vineyards in Charlottesville, Virginia area, although a popular wine-tasting stop for years, had just decided to open the farm for weddings last season. It deserved attention as a possible location for review for same-sex couples to host a large family gathering following  a legal marriage in Washington, D.C.  Although we have never performed a wedding at the site, it is indeed a lovely location.  The April 2012 posting was strictly of interest for couples planning ahead. Details regarding wedding licenses, along with ideas of fees and other considerations, were the sole focus of that article.  The next planned logistical e-mail/blog concerns adequately hearing a ceremony "Sound" will be the next topic of conversation, unless another important item needs to be addressed more readily. Past experiences with medium to large weddings, which neglected to enhance hearing for the audiences, have proven so disappointing. Not for the minister, the couple and the people seated on the front row, but for everyone else!   Sound must not be left as optional for the most important ceremony in the life of a couple. We will offer ideas, and specific professionals scattered around Virginia and hopefully in DC. If you have experienced a Sound Professional/ DJ  from an event or a wedding, then please send us an e-mail with their contact information and a comment. We would love to provide that information in our next in depth posting.  The question we often ask ourselves: Are we writing a newsletter or a blog? Quite frankly, our postings are probably more newsletter oriented. We may give extended attention to one topic, or list several items of interest. A concerted effort is made to pick a topic and offer in depth information with links for a reader. At the core, a blog and a newsletter is simply a Web page. Each communication format can contain text, images, and formatting styles. It would be nice if readers would actively ask more questions about topics regarding weddings, so that a tailored answer could be addressed. After all, one objective is to offer pertinent information which can serve couples planning a wedding. But remember, we are Interfaith ministers, and weddings are only part of what we do. Some postings will reach beyond planning a wedding.  A Final Note  It is true that our focus as Interfaith Ministers is tailored to personalization of weddings, and we travel considerable distances when proper planning is allowed. One or both of us is approved in all states and the District of Columbia.  Couples are asked to read our website(s) and click on testimonials for a true sense of how we are received. In addition, for almost four years our dedication has been aimed at our totally independent, non-religious, all volunteer, 501(c)3 public charity, which is Interfaith Humanitarian Sanctum, Inc.  From all wedding fees a portion is allowed for support of this charity for temporary assistance for the indigent population who comes from all over Virginia to be served by the UVA Medical Center. A couple can provide a direct donation for a tax deduction, or we as ministers will direct our income from fees as needed to sustain this worthy objective. In essence, our ministerial roles are an integral part for sustaining our charitable organization, so when you receive e-mails from both entities, please know that our hearts and minds are ONE. Your wedding, if a couple seeking a wedding minister, will make a difference in the lives of the least able among us as they struggle with the most tragic of circumstances.

Blessings ... US ... Revs. Elisheva and T. Wade Clegg